I always saw that I had privilege. I always saw that black people, their neighborhoods were different than mine. I had been taught to be afraid of those neighborhoods and those people. Not just from my family, but from everyone around me. We were taught to be scared,  to not trust ourselves from the time we are born. I remember a man who worked for my dad who was so nice to us when we were really little, like three or four. I didn’t think anything about it and probably gushed about him later when I was told that he was black and that made him a lesser person. I remember wondering why this went against what I felt, but I let it go against what I felt.

I wonder too about other countries and if all of them “worked hard” to get where they are on the backs of slaves or prisoners. To me that is the worst! Thinking, I did all this and knowing it was at the expense of those too weak to cry out. I see the Chinese, Indian, etc, and now can say without any denial, that the US is just as guilty. It’s heartbreaking.

My biggest take away is to challenge people to watch this. I feel like it’s so important. And if you don’t have a bad taste in your mouth from your oblivious complicity, you may just be dead inside. I feel like it has strengthened my resolve to do whatever it takes to make the United States a better place, where all people are free and have a voice.  Because I have kids, because I care. Because deep down inside I have always wanted people to be happy.

I have always loved people. I think women are that way. But we serve it up in sex and in providing for our families without serving it up to the world. That’s why so few of us run for office or fight to have the salary. We are satisfied that we made the most important people happy. It’s not good enough for me. I know those important people are happy, but I make people happy for me, too, and there’s more to it for me.

OK, self aware rant done for today.